i am not someone of words. yet i love words, marvel in their many meanings and variety, dissecting sentences for their ‘real’ meanings inferred out of ambiguous and tenuous words, but i use them clumsily myself resulting in nagging thoughts that i may have been misunderstood as i dissect my own ramblings at a later time – especially if i have used many words, spoken for ‘too long’ or about ‘too much’.
Not being able to crawl around on the ground, floor, wall, etc. with my camera has been a bit silencing. I can make sketches – sort of; i am out of practice – but the view is often a panorama of my foot, which looks like it should be painted green and appearing in a disney animation (although i would forbid any part of my self from appearing in anything disney).
Luckily, SOP understands when I say ‘look at that [random thing] there’, and likely quickly sees the unusual aspect of that particular [cloud formation, color gradient on a petal, cheeky squirrel, stealthy cat] that drew my eye, so the daily walks are as interesting as always, if somewhat shorter at the moment.
DOG and SOP have been great at putting up with me over the past month. DOG has been quite protective, causing my 5-year-old neighbor to give him the super-hero moniker of ‘Protective DOGE*!’ which she says is a great super-hero name for him because it rhymes with Doge**. Quite right.
In other news, i have been reading a lot – which actually represents more healing on the post-suicide front, an amazing 7(!?) years later. So much sitting is a challenge for me, though. I’m at the point where the major trauma healing seems to be over and, as I cannot yet be very active, I am having difficulty sleeping. But the stitches were removed last Friday and I have just started to be able to put some weight on the injured leg. The doctor expects me to just be using one crutch by the end of this week and just the boot by the beginning of next. That seems very rapid after the month it has taken me to get here, but I am working hard toward that goal (foot flexes, weighting with each step) and am really excited to see it coming. My calf and thigh look quite shapeless and small at the moment. They are going to be getting quite a workout soon.
* Pronounced doughj
** Also pronounced doughj, and how we address the DOG when not like ‘doughjee’, ‘buddy’, ‘my friend’, or ‘superfreak’
Bald schreibe ich wieder auf Deutsch…