run more
bike more
stretch more
eat more veggies*
improve my penmanship
take more pictures
play more
stress less

*why, as a vegetarian, is this even a concern?

it is lunch time and i wish that this:

salt and pepper, please

were ready.

But, it’s not and i am at work anyway, whereas it hangs on the vine four miles away.

if you do not invite me to your baby shower. Really. Especially when you know i hate them. Hate playing the games, always involving diapers for some reason. Hate acting like this is where i want to be when i do not see why we can’t just go play pool instead. That is a game, why can’t we play pool as the baby shower game?

If you would not invite me to these baby showers, then i wouldn’t have to come up with some enlightened statement as to why i will not go to post on the evite. All i have now are “no”, “oh god, no” or “are you insane?”. Somehow i do not think any of these are the response you desire. Perhaps the ever popular, “Sorry, i’m washing my hair that night”?

heading from my email today:
premenstrual syndrome stock certificate

although i hear that stock has extreme highs and lows…

or more accurately, the ptoblem with sop working late on his sculpture is that i have too much time to think. Thinking tends to be a bad thing for me. Rich is always on my mind in one way or another and i still haven’t worked out all the details on letting him go but NOT letting him go. Does one ever get there? Suicide is painless, hmm? Not for anyone i know. Not for Rich, even though it is perhaps now. Really, to me it seems that suicide amplifies one’s pain onto everyone one once knew, with the stronger amplification going to those who were closest. Which is why it is no longer an option for me. I was the one left behind and there is no way i could do that to someone else. My extremeties go numb as i write this. Honestly, that often happens when i think of Rich and what i should have, could have done. Yes, i know things may have still been the same. I know all the things that i am supposed to know in my head. But the thoughts that haunt me are not those that come from the head. And that is the problem with sculpture.